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There are now two buffoons with recording equipment, laughing at themselves in my cellar…

O peerage, like you, most of my electronic correspondence is banished to the cyber wastes before my eyes ever rest upon it. This includes contact from all parties, including the AICPA, the PCAOB, the IASB and the FASB. I interpret a letter, printed on pressed fiber and housed in an envelope of like design, as … Continue reading

An absence of curious design…

Patience… I ask that you remain unruffled and slow to express resentment. I live in an awareness of not delivering to you, my readers, the completed questionnaires so deftly loosened from the hands of the Deputy Emissary of Audit Standards. I logged many an hour traveling through the collective universe of audit committee conscious and … Continue reading

Bertram Sixt, acts fearlessly… after finishing my last bottle of 1930 Darroze

Early today, the breadth and girth of my schedule, brimming with persons wanting my time and lacking persons of whose time I fancy, looked into my visage, and I imagined registering a discordant sneer. So I acted as any good man would act, I took the page upon which said schedule was printed, wadded it … Continue reading

I have returned – Only to reprise my role as confidant, to the Deputy Emissary of Audit Standards at the CAQ (Center for Audit Quality)

Long have I been awash in the turbulence of consultancy and in the misgivings of advisory chicanery. Neglect is clearly what I have turned upon my dear abonné. My bona fide apologies… no, nothing less… One continues now, with the latest, the Wessenbeitzel family brought a son into our troubled terrestrial environs, hoping for the … Continue reading

The season of travails has passed and a daunting task is presented

Enfin! The last of the public engagements, upon which I signed the opinion, have filed. The management teams charged with certifying this, compliance with that, even implementing this, and converging that, have succeeded. Yes, all of these noisome reporting standards appear to have appropriately taken root. I have made the rounds of the audit committees, … Continue reading

His breath stank of mold, refused the apéritif, and tried to keep his silverware…

I have an outstanding chef. Twice a month, she will command the staff of my home in producing a meal to which I invite only my closest and most dear amitiés. My request in this time of cold and frost, was a feast of wild game. It was my response to the season,… hearty drink, … Continue reading

I banished a guest to dine in the staff’s kitchen, an ignominious decision…

This time of year, when we have yet to grow weary of daily frost cover, is my preferred. The stones and rails and vehicles with their new white scruff, appear to be in need of a good shave. The breath of the dogs, the cold fog over the pond, and the smoke from the chimneys … Continue reading

A galena consortium in the Northern Rockies, and Bridgemond Highstead helps us avoid tumult when publicly sauced

When one grows tired of visiting the antiquity merchants for an ever fleeting bounty, one nearly resigns oneself to the sad fact that a replacement crystal detector is unattainable. So naturally, to find lead glance, I visit mines full of zinc and silver. I have a radio receiver in an upper floor of a folly … Continue reading

Quarterly reporting complete, our duty to protect the investing public is fulfilled

All of our public clients have filed, the spars and rigging are firmly mounted, and off we sail to perform the divinations of our trade before year-end. I was asked to visit auditors in the field and describe my exposures to the southern Appalachians and the coastal Low Country. So I began in the Low Country. … Continue reading

For it is interim, shed thy coat of idleness

The air is crisp and refreshing as I amble about the grounds. I compare the exuberance of my dogs, energized by the season and the squirrels, to the teams of auditors traipsing about performing interim audit travails. I return to my study invigorated, to share some recent observations. Over the past few weeks I was … Continue reading